Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
