I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
