drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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