idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
