And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
