Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
