This is not my ceiling
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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