It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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