Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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