i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
