Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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