You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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