So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
