the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
