I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i permit you to call me
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
