Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize