New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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