I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)