One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
