People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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