I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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