how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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