I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
