You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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