Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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