That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
