I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
