No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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