drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
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After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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