we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
