I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
