please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
