my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
