And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
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i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
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Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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