I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
