if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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