I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
