For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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