Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So vagazzling was a success
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
