so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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