You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
