We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
