So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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