if you like me you must not know who I am
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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