so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Someone signed my nipple.
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