are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
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woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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