Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
