I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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