Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
