Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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