For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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