Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
