He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize