So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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