at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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