I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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