ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha

  Fav 5 1012 5062

  share tweet
  

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...

  Fav 54 1052 5891

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (757): View more from Virginia

  tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?

  Fav 24 5517 1294

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?

  Fav 76 21314 1443

  share tweet
  
• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity

  Fav 9 4116 1630

  share tweet
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.

  Fav 8 1165 4095

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (661): View more from California

  His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.

  Fav 14 1030 3490

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.

  Fav 8 1460 3013

  share tweet
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.

  Fav 9 2776 1046

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays

  Fav 3 754 633

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer

  Fav 5 487 1253

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow

  Fav 2 734 719

  share tweet
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.

  Fav 1 598 644

  share tweet
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR

  Fav 0 646 566

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (605): View more from South Dakota

  He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.

  Fav 4 397 668

  share tweet
  

Randomize