Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
