dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.