Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
