Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
