I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
