drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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