I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
