Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
