Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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