You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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