This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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