Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
