My entire life is one complicated drinking game
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
