Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
