sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
